I know I haven’t posted in a little while, my only excuse is that life kind of got in the way. But, I am back on my shit and have a good post for you guys today.
I cannot believe it is April 9th, we are so close to the end of the semester that it makes my head spin if I think about it too much. About 1,000 clichés are coming to mind right now about how fast life goes by, but I refuse to give in and use one (us writers have to at least TRY and be original). All I know is that I’m not ready to open the floodgates from the real world yet, even though I’m only gonna be a junior. I can’t imagine leaving college--or school in general--for good.
I’ve been hit pretty hard recently in thinking about finishing the year. When it’s not your graduation, the end of the year feels like a vortex; you’re not really sure what aspects of the past year are gonna come back when you're back. Some parts, even some people, just stay in that memory vortex. You come back the following year and things are the similar, but never the same. You’ll notice that some parts are simply lost… most of the time, for good.
For those that graduate, while I only have high school graduation to compare, I know how monumental it is to close that vortex forever. You won’t really return to anything similar, and most of what you know gets thrown into that memory vortex. My point is not to freak anyone out because I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know. What I wanna focus on now is taking control of what may feel uncontrollable, instead of just letting this time--and everyone in it--sink into yesterday.
Write letters. They can be abstract, but the most powerful ones for me have been those I’ve written to specific people, including a letter to yourself.
Take time to think about the impact someone has had on you and how that impact can’t--and won’t--just vanish. Reflect on who you are now and how that person has been built. More so at the end of college than at the end of high school, you hit a point where you will know a great deal of what makes you who you are. But just like memories and the people in them, who you are can’t be set aside or locked up. That often freaks me out but it also excites me.
What eases my anxieties is finding ways to cheat the system and one of the ways I've discovered is writing letters. You can freeze your thoughts, your circumstances, and your emotions in time. Whether you give the letter to someone or not, always keep a copy. So, when time has passed and the life you knew has faded, you’ll have pieces of it in writing.
You’ll discover the letter--or those you write to will find it--and it’ll feel like everything can stop and be still for a moment. Trust me, you’ll thank me later.