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that time I was called a "fucking fluff"

April 23, 2017

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Well. This is going to be different than any post I have done, but it's important. To give you guys a little background...

 

A while ago I opened up a forum to ask anonymous questions. I don't receive notifications when someone submits something, so I haven't checked it in a little while. As I was writing a paper for finals, I decided to check and see if anything new was there. This is what I found, clearly in response to my post titled: mini-rant: cultural appropriation...WARNING: explicit language ahead...

 

"Who the fuck gave you the right to decide what is cultural appropriation or not. You have NO FUCKING CULTURE!!! You are a white extremely privileged female living in a society that does nothing but benefit you. You can't control whether or not other people get offended, and if they do, try to solve the situation by refraining from those offensive actions. If you are not Native American and you don't share any of the history or culture, why would you even want to wear a fucking headress. Like what is your motive? You're not cute! The right to wear a headress is earned by warriors who fought to gain that honor. You and many other fucking fluffs who wear them to a music festival didn't go to FUCKING war! It's similar to the disrespect that is caused, when people commit stolen valor. You can't just wear a military suit with all of the bells and whistles without earning them and then get angry when you suffer the consequences. Culture is not a costume. It's not about us wanting to keep every single hairstyle or garment to ourselves; it's about the double standard that is formed when white people are praised for donning the cultures of others, and the people who actually share them, are criticized or not given the same praise. You probably haven't read this whole thing, but if I am wrong and you have, just try to be considerate of how other people are feeling. People are getting offended for a reason and it doesn't when you dismiss their pain or opinions."

 

The first thing I did after reading this was go back and read what I had written. Even though I edit and scrutinize every one of my posts before publishing them, I wanted to refresh my memory of what I had said. Then, I decided to reply. So, yes, anonymous person, I did read the entire thing.

 

First, I want to thank whoever wrote it. While I don't care for how aggressive their tone is, I definitely welcomed that with the article I wrote. Why I want to thank you is because I respect you reaching out to me to share how you disagreed with my post. Reading your comment made me think about a lot of things, reevaluate my own opinions, and look at things from a different perspective. This is something I always try to do, but every now and then it's good to have a reminder.

 

With that said, I still disagree with you. 

 

I won't go line by line, but I want to explain my perspective on some points. First of all, everyone has culture. To claim that I do not simply because I am a "white extremely privileged female" is not only rude, but simply incorrect. The whole purpose of my post was to highlight how I thought it was unnecessary for people to attack others for wearing something simply because they like it. Period. I guess I didn't make it clear enough, but I do not support anyone wearing articles of clothing that have significant cultural meaning as a way to mock its background.

 

You may believe that just the act of wearing it is degrading to those certain cultures, I disagree. While you think I may not have the credentials to disagree on that point, I do not claim to understand what people other than myself go through, especially marginalized cultural minorities. All I'm disagreeing with is the act of ripping apart anyone who is not a part of that culture. It will get us nowhere.

 

Do I recognize that I am privileged simply because I'm white? Absolutely. I won't refute that point. But to say that I live in a society that "does nothing but benefit [me]," is exceedingly close-minded. I have various advantages, for sure, but society tears everyone down. How we think we are supposed to perceive others, how we are taught to think, how we are told we should live... I could go into the intricacies of how society screws everyone over but I won't. Yes, it screws over some way more than others, but it affects us all.

 

Go ahead, continue to degrade me to a"white extremely privileged female," but all you're doing is perpetuating this cycle of depravity.

 

I wish that our society didn't operate the way it did. I will never have the capacity to truly imagine how terrible it must feel for some people to be praised for their choices, and for some to be constantly torn down for those same ones; choices that have deep significance to them and their culture that most people don't even know about. But why should we blame those who are choosing to appreciate those same choices? They aren't to blame, and focusing energy on disparaging them is taking energy away from an effective solution. And, not to mention, it's perpetuating pain to even more people. I won't claim to have a solution or the right answer, but spreading around the hurt and exclusivity cannot be it.

 

Now I have never been called a "fucking fluff" before, but I have to say it made me laugh. I'm going to end with this: I think we all need to do a better job of opening our minds. My point was and is not to dismiss people's pain, it was simply to offer the idea of a world where we do not need to tear each other down to reach some sort of finish line.

 

I vow, anonymous-question-submitter, to do my part in appreciating cultures and the respect that comes along with them; but, I will not tell people what they can and can't do. Nor will I decide their worth based on assumed ignorance.

 

۞ ally ۞

 

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