5 things that I totally suck at


Well, this is going to be a fun post! That was sarcasm if you can't tell, but I think this post is important. People always tell me that it seems like I have all my shit together but that is FAR from the truth. But, it's far from the truth for everyone really. So, this post is to dispel the conception that anyone really has it all together. Here goes nothing...

1. Singing.

Wow do I suck at singing. I loved being a part of the musicals at my high school but I almost burst into a million pieces every time I had to do the singing part of the audition. I hate failing at things and I knew I wasn't going to wake up one day and be an amazing singer, so the thought of standing up in front of my friends and belting out shrieks (basically what I sound like) scared the SHIT out of me.

But, then something kind of amazing happened. My senior year, the VERY last singing audition I had to do, probably gave me the most nerves of any singing audition I ever had to do. I practiced this one song about a thousand times but no matter what I did, I couldn't get it to sound remotely human.

You were supposed to volunteer yourself for the audition and about halfway through, I couldn't get myself to do it. I was paralyzed in my chair, shaking with fear. Then someone started chanting my name. Then more people joined in. Soon, all of my friends were chanting my name, urging me to go up there. So, I did. I sang my heart out, messed up the lyrics, and made an absolute fool out of myself. When I finished, everyone clapped and cheered and laughed... it was one of the best moments of my life. I had completely and utterly failed at something, and yet I felt on top of the world. If that isn't a life lesson, I don't know what is.

2. Admitting when I'm wrong.

I grew up as an annoying little know-it-all. So, I don't think it will be much of a surprise to anyone that I suck at admitting when I'm wrong. Trust me, I'm trying to work on that, but it's hard for me to swallow my pride when I should have handled a situation better. But, I think this is an extremely necessary skill to have.

I try and always acknowledge different perspectives. Yet, I still get myself in trouble when I act on my own opinions because I'm human. Best step in not being an asshole is recognizing when you didn't make the best decision and learning from your mistakes.

3. Budgeting.

Man, do I SUCK at budgeting. Jesus Christ... This is my actual thought process: "Okay so I should probably save some money so I can make it through the semest--HOLY SHIT THOSE [insert generic article of clothing, pair of shoes, or delicious meal], I MUST PURCHASE. NOW."

Then I look at my bank account balance and I realize that I'm virtually screwed. Ugh, I have really been trying to work on this because I hate the fact that I'm fulfilling the typical college student prophecy. But college definitely forces you to learn how to budget. Pray for me, I really need it.

4. Finishing projects.

I get wicked passionate about things and then after a week or so, I start to lose interest. So, it honestly amazes me when I can keep sustained dedication to something. AKA, this blog. I really enjoy writing and implementing some creativity through it, but I was terrified I was going to lose interest in it. Good thing I haven't, right?!

It also shocked me when I was able to write an entire play. I guess writing really could be my calling and therefore that's why I can keep some long-term enjoyment while doing it. But I can't even tell you how many things I get SO excited about, and then within a week it's like I forgot I even had the idea. Oops...

5. Keeping a surprise, a surprise.

I ABSOLUTELY HATE SURPRISES. I don't care if you're straight up proposing to me, it better not be a surprise. So, whenever I have the opportunity to let the cat out of the bag, or force someone to let the cat out of the bag, I do it.

This even applies to TV shows. The second I start to feel myself getting attached to TV characters, I look up what happens to them. I LIVE for spoilers.

Or, if I have my suspicions about an impending surprise, I do everything in my power to snoop until I figure out what it is. One time when I was little, I found my mom's journal where she had a to-do list before a big trip to Florida with my family. That's when I discovered we were going to Florida. Lol.

Well, I hope that was at the least entertaining for you. Failure is important, recognizing your weaknesses is important. Have a good week everyone!

۞ ally ۞

#suck #failure

halcyon (1).png
SINCE 2017