So, I have felt kind of "off" these past couple of days. There could be a million reasons for this, but I started to get really upset with myself. After doing so well for the past couple of weeks, whenever I start to digress even the slightest bit, I tear myself apart. It's gotten to the point where when I'm feeling happy, I convince myself it isn't real; that soon enough, I will be back to my depressed state, not wanting to participate in life.
Here's how I get myself through this.
First of all, I like to think of all the factors that could be attributed to how I'm feeling. This could be anywhere from a lack of sleep, stress, my period, or a combination of things. To stop myself from being trapped in self-pity, I put evidence behind my emotions. It makes me feel better just admitting to myself that this isn't all in my head.
Once I've put the blame on all of the outside circumstances, I have more well-rounded perspective of how I'm feeling. Then I can look towards myself and my exact thoughts and feelings to try and change them.
It's like you're training your brain. Imagine someone digging a hole (I know, I'm original). Instead of mindlessly digging yourself deeper and deeper to make it even harder for yourself to get out, stop to think about why you're digging in the first place.
This weekend I forced myself to go to Barre, have caffeine, do my homework... I didn't do everything I was supposed to but I accepted that and told myself I was taking the weekend for myself. But, I still managed to try some things to get me out of whatever funk I was in.
It's so easy for people who don't experience depression to just want to grab someone by the shoulders and tell them to be happy. They get frustrated because how can it be that hard to stop looking at the world through a negative lens?
I think one of the major keys to getting through any negative emotion is recognizing that it will pass. Living your life as you would but also understanding that you do what you have to do to get through each day. Always listen to people's suggestions but your ultimate savior is your own mind. Tell yourself this hard time will pass. And if it doesn't, you do something about it.
۞ ally ۞