hooray for being selfish


Since I just added my "about" page, I figured I would write a little bit more on that. If you haven't read it yet, click here. I really put that idea of being selfish into practice about a week ago, and I ended up being really proud of myself.

See, University of Richmond recommends taking 4 units per semester which usually ends up being 4 courses. I had taken 6 during my senior year of high school with nearly no breaks, so when I had the opportunity to take 5 courses this semester, I figured it wouldn't be too hard. There are so many courses I want to take here to figure out what my passion is, and frankly not enough time to do it all in 4 years. One of my biggest fears is that I will graduate with a degree in something I'm not passionate about. The idea of sitting in a job and dreading every second of it scares the shit out of me.

Keeping all of this in mind, I decided to add "Intro to Journalism" to my schedule. I mean it makes sense, right? I write all the time. I write weekly for the Odyssey Online and I have a journal that I write in regularly (I'm a very sentimental person so I love the thought of being able to look back on my thoughts years from now). Journalism most likely could be a perfect fit for me. Well, that's how I convinced myself to add it to my already-full schedule.

I would be taking the intro class on Tuesdays and Thursdays right after 2 other back to back classes. That already freaked me out because that's a lot of energy focusing from 10:30 AM to 2:45 PM. But again, I told myself that if high school Ally could do it, mature college Ally should have no problem. And, what if this was my passion? I can't sacrifice finding that out because I'm scared.

So, when I had my first class, I was definitely exhausted, but I told myself it was worth it. Then, as I was sitting listening to the professor talk about what we would be doing, I suddenly realized that I would never be a journalist. I write philosophical pieces, fictional pieces, plays, scripts, etc. Definitely NOT hard-hitting op-eds on politics or sports or world news. I felt extremely overwhelmed.

This is when I made the decision to be selfish. If you actually read the "about" page, you understand that I don't mean that negatively. But, I recognized that it was going to be too much for me and more importantly: I wasn't going to love it. I'm done wasting energy on things that don't make me happy. High school Ally would probably have stuck with it because it was in my schedule and I made a commitment to do it. Yet, the beauty of college is that with one click, my name gets removed from the roster.

I'm significantly less stressed and significantly happier by making the conscious decision to put myself first. So, hooray for being selfish!

۞ ally ۞

#selfish #selfishness

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